Let’s be honest, if Jesus were walking the earth today he’d probably be walking his ass over to his BMW M3. We’re supposed to believe that the son of god would be driving a Prius or taking public transportation? Or that he’d be driving an old 21 window minibus? Nigga pulleaze.
I’d like to think that J-sus would have a silver M3 with a deep luscious red leather interior. He’d cruise top down with the bumpin’ 36 speaker system sprouting The People Under The Stairs. And despite those tall tales about the messiah suffering for the sins of all mankind…I believe that he wouldn’t think twice about clocking in at a ungodly 11.8mpg. Or slightly lower in sport mode. Because while the celestial icon we call Jesus may have been able to appease the masses with his water into wine shenanigans…he was probably still mortal enough to appreciate the fact that nothing attracts the bitches like an M3.
Posted by balthazar at May 26, 2004 04:39 PMI had a feeling before, but now I'm sure of it. you're going to hell. see you there.
Posted by: jerome the underpants gnome at May 26, 2004 04:58 PMwhile the mystery of j-dawg's ride is open to debate, one thing is certain: the son of god is no sucker when i comes to arch support. are those asics cross trainers? cause if they are i'm thinking he's a volvo kinda guy.
Posted by: tim at May 26, 2004 05:19 PMBaby-g would be feeling the thrones in the XC no doubt
Posted by: colin at May 26, 2004 05:38 PMAt first, I thought your assumptions were absolutely ludicrous, but then I did some research and discovered that Jesus was an excellent baseball player in his day. Hard to turn down Major League money.
http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/101/index.html
"After all, he leads the Big League Upstairs for most saves."
that might just be the best quote ever.
Posted by: tim at May 26, 2004 05:47 PM